I'm in one of those really relaxed sort of contemplative moods right now. The kind you get after a nearly perfect day. After sitting on the lakeshore writing down thoughts on life and whatnot. After watching Edward Scissorhands. After looking out the window on a clear nite and keeping the blinds open because you don't care if anyone is looking in. The kind you get while listening to Everyday by Yo La Tengo. Watching G-Force work it's visual magic on your desktop. Typing in notepad because you're too lazy to pick up a pen. Everyday. Everyday.
I figured out today what I want my life to be like. I want to live on the shore of a lake. In a house built out of logs. Maybe some bricks. I like bricks. I want to help people all day and in the evening be with my family and go canoeing on the lake. I want to sit up late around the campfire and have lengthy discussions on various intriguing topics. I want to sit around the campfire and not say a word. To look up at the stars and think, "We live in a beautiful world".
It's taken 5 months to the day and I'm finally starting to like where I live. It's no Dalmeny, but I think it will do for awhile. It's all about being content. I think today I am content with my life. Granted, there are many things that I want in the future. There are many dreams that have yet to be realized. But today is today. And today is what counts.
In the Last Days of Disco they say "and the song says let's be happy, i was happy, it never made me happy before...the song says don't be lonely, it makes me lonely, i hear it and i'm lonely more and more, where i belong, where i belong..."
I don't know exactly what they meant that song to mean. To me, it means that sometimes where we belong is a lonely place. I feel that. But at the same time, it's possible to be happy even when you're lonely. I feel that too. It's funny because I've never really listened to the lyrics before and they just happen to describe my mood perfectly. Weird.
posted by matty at 11:53 p.m.
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