Ok this is hilarious and very sad at the same time. Check it out:
An elegant solution presented itself on Buzzflash today. It makes sense really- let the blue states join up with Canada. We'll quadruple their population, and bring the majority of our industrial base with us. We in the new southern states of Canada can enjoy universal health care, decent beer, and a sane attitude. The citizens of Jesusland can break off on their own, teach creationism, pollute themselves to death, and wallow in trailer park shantytowns culstered around the local wal-mart and tanning mill. Yeah, they get the lion's share of the oil, but without folks like Bush slaughtering instrastructure budgets, we in the USC could gear up our public transit and grain-based fuel technology.
We'd keep the capital in Washington, and Jesusland can set up a new capital in Midland, Texas, sandwiched in between a Waffle House and a Golden Gallon Kwik-Stop.
Eventually, I figure Jesusland would collapse to an insufferable swill of corporate farms, toxic waste dumps, and a laughable frenzy of inbreeding, During which Alaska would secede. After a horribly bungled preemptive invasion of Mexico (to git rid of them "Mary Worshippers" once and fer all), Jesusland would balkanize into a thousand small states, each defined by their own particular brand of fundamentalist protestant christianity- Imagine "The Road Warrior", but with a tad more snake-handling.
We in the USC would just put up a good, sturdy wall along the border, and get back to wondering how we can get our literacy rate over the current 99.998%- and we really SHOULD do something about that nasty smell of burning corpses, coming up from down south...
One can dream, after all.
Thanks to bushflash.com for that wonderful bit. That's all for now. Oh I'm going to be updating my links section to include some alternative news sources for all those who think being informed from non-mainstream media is a good thing.
posted by matty at 3:59 p.m.
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