Sometimes I'm not sure where life is taking me. I sit back and try to look at the big picture only to realize I'm fooling myself. I can't see the big picture. There are always so many questions, doubts, fears. Are the things I focus on worthy of my attention?
I have a preoccupation with money lately. Actually I've had it for awhile. My biggest concern is paying off my debts. I have credit card debt which I racked up when I was young and stupid, totalling about $6000. God I wish I knew the things then that I know now. Anyway those cards are all gone and I'm not going any deeper at least. Then there is the student loan from when I went to Prairie, totalling about $6500. That puts me approximatly, $12,500 in the hole. It's slowly going down at a rate of about $330/month, which is about all I can afford.
So this leaves me with a few options. I could win the lottery, providing I buy tickets (which I do not). I could stay on my payment plan, and be free in 38 months. I could rob a bank or deal drugs (which I'd rather not, and wouldn't do).
For one, a good paying job would be a bonus. This leaves me with a dilemma though. If I get a good paying job, and I get everything paid off, it'll be harder for me to focus on the band (which is why I am out here after all), because I won't want to give up my job. Whereas if I don't get a good paying job, I'll be in debt forever, forcing me to keep my low paying job to make payments, and restricting me as far as touring goes. Such is my situation.
I guess it's kinda wierd that I just laid out my financials for all to see. Oh well. Maybe someone will have some insight. Goodnight all.
posted by matty at 12:02 a.m.
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